Dealing with Frustration Intolerance

Does your toddler get easily frustrated? Mine too! When I watched my 1-year-old son become so frustrated while trying to place a puzzle piece one day that he immediately burst into tears, I knew this was something I would have to help him work through over time. And we have been working on it together over the last year! I am excited to share with you what’s been working for us.

First, let me be clear: there is nothing wrong with experiencing frustration. It’s important for children to experience this emotion. What’s hard to watch is when your child becomes so frustrated that they break down, clearly stressed about the current situation. That’s where I want to help intervene and give my son tools to self-regulate.

Here are 3 ways I help my son work through a frustrating moment:

  • Deep breaths: Watch your child the next time he is in the middle of a task you know is likely to end in tears. The moment you see them get frustrated or ask you for help, invite them to pause and take a deep breath with you before returning to the task.
  • Mantras: Simple, yet effective sayings can go a long way for little ones. We love “The Little Blue Engine” so I will often say “I think I can” when completing the task, just like the little blue engine did while climbing up the mountain. I’ve heard my son repeat this back to himself when he gets stuck now.
  • Role modeling: Children are great imitators so showing them vs telling them how to work through a frustrating problem can be very helpful. Use the mantra when you get “stuck” and verbalize how you are actively working through the problem while you complete the task.

He has improved significantly over the past year, but we are always looking for more ways to help him! What would you do to this list?